ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
