Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
