"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
