he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
