I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
