we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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