dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
