His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
