Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize