He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
