Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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