I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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