Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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