1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
