I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
