Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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