Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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