i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
