what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize