Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
