Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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