You can't motorboat a personality
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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