what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
