i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
NoShamevember. You game?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
me + whiskey = a bad person
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
