Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
