your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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