I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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