She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
