It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
my poor anus
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
