I smell stomach acid.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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