Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
There are leaves in my underwear?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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