if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
