you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
