# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize