He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
