told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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