I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
