I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Text me some of your sweat
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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