i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
