It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
