Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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