This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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