i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
