Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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