it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize