That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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