i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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