I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
