don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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