At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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