the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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