It's like a parade of train wrecks.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize