that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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