Where is the hickey?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
