i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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