is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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