My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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