I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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