girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
