Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
