is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
