Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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