Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
