He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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