I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
