Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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