I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
