the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize