I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
