i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
