Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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